The Five Secrets To Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner.

 

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Today, in response to the heartfelt requests from our cherished readers who, like us, are gearing up to host Christmas dinner this year, we'll delve into the essential principles that will guide you through this journey without losing your sanity. Your role as a host is crucial, and we want you to know that we're here to support you every step of the way.

It's no secret that the holiday season can be a testing time for many families, often leading to heated disagreements over holiday-related gatherings.

The reasons for these intrigues are multiple and quite intuitive/simple to understand.

It starts with unnecessary comments from a cranky aunt regarding the marital status of her second cousin, such as 'When are you getting married?' or 'Why are you still single?'' and moves through a long-standing grudge competition prevailing between certain family members, like the ongoing dispute over who should host the next family gathering and ends with the pressure to get everything done in terms of food quality and various hospitality elements of the holiday meal.

And don't even get us started on the tensions between wife and mother-in-law.

All these and more are like simmering tensions, ready to erupt at any moment, and the holiday dinner table is the battleground where they might surface.

This article is your guide to hosting the holiday dinner, preserving your sanity, and, most importantly, fostering healthy and loving family bonds and relationships.

And if by any chance this is your first rodeo as a host - this article is a must-read!

 

'How To Keep Your Cool When Hosting Christmas? - Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner.'

Hop on!

 

1. Take A Deep Breath.

 

Abraham Lincoln once said:

 

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

 

In order to stay sane when hosting Christmas dinner, first and foremost, you need to be as prepared as possible. And by saying "prepared," we're referring to mental preparation.

You can do so by using several tools, the first of which is 'self-awareness.'

Studies suggest that self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools for dealing with stress and unpleasant situations. 

Complex family interactions undoubtedly fit the criteria.

Prior to holiday dinner and even before the actual preparations begin, willingly accept you are heading towards an atmosphere that may require mental abilities of a slightly different kind.

Once you have made peace with the fact that Aunt Emily will probably throw some snarky comments about your food quality (that you worked so hard to prepare...), and there is nothing you can do to prevent it because she is who she is - Your approach will be much 'lighter.'

Being aware in advance that your cousin Kirk tends to make snarky comments after he's had a few drinks - and he probably will this time, too - will help you avoid overly grunting when it actually happens. For instance, you can mentally prepare by reminding yourself that his comments are not personal attacks but rather a result of his altered state. This understanding can help you maintain your composure and respond calmly.

The exhausting process of the technical arrangement necessary for the holiday dinner, along with all the attention required for all the little details, may cause you a bit irritable very quickly, and that's why your ability to stop and take a deep breath will be much needed. 

'And why is this happening?' You must be asking.

Well, this is a relatively broad psychological phenomenon we cannot fully explain here and now (and we don't want to either. This is not the concept of our blog), but in a nutshell - The frustration process we are familiar with from situations involved in anger - Originates from an inability to 'control things,' and our desire to impose ourselves/wishes on reality.

Ultimately, everything becomes much more manageable when you willingly embrace a 'lack of control mindset' from a place of full awareness - about that lack of control in question.

You're no longer burdened by unrealistic expectations, and you're free from the need to impose your will on reality. This acceptance brings a sense of liberation, freeing you from the stress of trying to control everything.

This is the essence of self-awareness - being in tune with your own thoughts and feelings. It allows you to shift from a reactive state to a proactive one, which is the core of the freedom concept - mental freedom. It's the ability to consciously guide your mind's journey, empowering you to navigate the holiday dinner with confidence and control.

So, the first step towards maintaining your sanity when hosting Christmas dinner is to take a deep breath and mentally prepare for what's to come. This preparation will give you a sense of confidence and control, reassuring you that you're ready for whatever the dinner may bring.

You will be surprised how light and pleasant it will make you feel.

By the way, this tool contains another hidden advantage: Due to your 'mentally prepared' arrival, you subconsciously expect bad scenarios to happen ("Kirk and Emily will be unbearable! I'm sure of it"). So, if, after all, Kirk and Emily will surprise everyone and act reasonably like the two adorable lovebirds they are, you'll be more than happy about that.

And if they behave as expected - You are adequately prepared.

Just like Alexander Pope's annoying quote:

 

"Don't expect anything, and you won't be disappointed."

 

Think about what's next. That way, you will arrive prepared

There are many more examples, but the guiding principle is the same: taking a deep breath and humbly embracing socially complex situations will significantly help you stay calm while hosting Christmas dinner.

So - Inhale and exhale!

 

On to the next one on our 'Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner' tip list.

 

 

 

2. Personal Taste.

 

Oscar Wilde once said:

 

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."

 

This quote can be applied to home-hosting and hospitality. It suggests that providing the best experience for your guests, even if it's simple, can lead to their satisfaction.

Although, as a host, you will never be able to please everyone at any social gathering due to the differences between your guests' tastes/preferences, the difference between ordinary and perfect hospitality lies in your ability to make adjustments that will satisfy people's personal tastes as much as possible.

One of the actions you must take to get through the holiday dinner in one piece is to create a perfect hospitality experience for your guests. This way, you'll be able to minimize the comments/complaints, etc., and ensure that, ultimately, everyone will be happy. Your goal is a peaceful holiday dinner, and this should be your motivation.

'How do I do that?' You must be asking.

Well, as a first step, you can always start by reading the article from our sweet blog about the secrets of home-hosting. Our blog provides valuable tips and insights on creating the perfect hospitality experience for your guests.

As for the next step, although we are quite familiar with its complex nature, you will still need to apply things properly If you wish to conduct your holiday dinner in the best possible way. Thus keeping your guests satisfied and your sanity intact.

Before their arrival, it's crucial to understand your guests' personal tastes/preferences regarding the various food ingredients and the hospitality experience as a whole. This understanding allows you to cater to their preferences, making them feel valued and enhancing their dining experience. Since these are family members/friends we are talking about, this is quite an achievable task. This preparation will give you a sense of control and confidence in your hosting.

Good hospitality is entirely dependent on the ability to provide superb personal experiences. One that makes every guest feel that despite the broader gathering, everything that happens is meant for him and him alone.

It is precisely the hospitality experience you should provide to your guests:

What's the spice that Aunt Gina can't stand?

How do you make the chicken soup so that David, your second cousin, will keep talking about it throughout the year?

Who is sensitive to lactose, and who has a problem with gluten?

Your sweet niece Rhonda, who can't stand her cousin Caroline, will go wild if she is seated next to her - Make sure that doesn't happen.

 

People are different creatures with different preferences. You must understand those of your guests

 

All these and more are just a tiny part of the optional examples. The guiding principle/equation is quite simple - tailored adjustments to people's personal tastes equal 'happy guests,' and happy guests equal a holiday dinner conducted quietly and peacefully. This simplicity should reassure you and boost your confidence in your hosting abilities. 

Great deal.

Isn't it?

 

On to the next one on our 'Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner' tip list.

 

 

3. Perfect Implementation.

 

Benjamin Franklin once said:

 

"Failing to prepare is preparing to fail."

 

As with most endeavors, preparation is a crucial factor in your success, especially when it comes to hosting. This preparation will give you the confidence and reassurance that you're ready for the task at hand.

The first and most crucial part of your preliminary preparation should ensure the total fulfillment of the three hospitality principles. These principles, which we at Sweet Crib usually call 'Cco'-Cleanliness, Comfort, and Odor control, are the foundation of a successful hosting experience.

Applying these principles will ensure your home's preliminary preparation before guests' arrival will be ideal:

 

Clean and tidy - Cleanliness and orderliness - During the day prior to the guest's arrival, ensure your home is as orderly and clean as possible. Besides the well-known importance of a clean and tidy house, it will help you welcome your guests properly. You can read more here about practical tips that will easily help you do so.

 

Comfort - Comfort is a fundamental aspect of life, and home comfort is no exception. By creating a homely and peaceful atmosphere, you can ensure that both you and your guests feel at ease and relaxed.

Although 'Comfort' is a dynamic and subjective concept, and each person has their own definition concerning its essence, it can be roughly estimated that there is a reasonably broad agreement regarding the 'Comfort' concept being desirable. For instance, comfortable seating, a warm and inviting ambiance, and a well-organized space are all elements that contribute to a comfortable environment.

Therefore, Try to create a homely and peaceful atmosphere that will be as comfortable as possible for you and your guests. Here, You can get great tips on how to do it properly.

 

Odors - Diana Ackerman once said:

 

"Nothing is more memorable than a smell."

 

The importance of a good home fragrance cannot be overstated. It's the first thing that accompanies everyone entering your home from the first second, even before seeing something.

Ensure you do everything in your power to make your home smell good before your guests arrive (and in general). As we will see later, this is a significant part of you becoming an elite host.

 

Execute things in the best way possible!

 

Making the holiday dinner an event that is carefully/thoroughly planned and executed in the best way possible will ensure everyone's satisfaction while contributing to your peace of mind.

While striving for perfection can be admirable, it's also important to be easygoing about your mistakes. This approach will help you navigate the Christmas dinner with less stress and more forgiveness for any imperfections.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

By realizing there always were/are/will be some flaws in the elements of your hospitality (and that of every other host ever since. No one is perfect), the sense of enormous responsibility becomes a bit lighter. 

Nobody's perfect. Lighten up a bit.

 

On to the next one on our 'Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner' tip list.

 



4. Sit Down & Talk.

 

Remember, good communication is not just a tool but the foundation and key to success in most areas of life, including managing possible conflicts at Christmas dinner. It's a powerful tool that can empower you to navigate potential conflicts with confidence and control.

Unfortunately, and to everyone's dismay, at some point, a potential argument at Christmas dinner will likely occur between you or one of your nuclear family members and an outside guest; it's usually just how things go.

It's in your best interest to take a proactive approach and have a preliminary discussion with your family members about potential conflicts. This can help you minimize any potential damages that might occur during Christmas dinner. For instance, if there's a history of heated political discussions, it might be a good idea to set some ground rules or avoid certain topics altogether.

Being prepared and proactive is key. The phrase to remember is 'Matching Expectations '. It's about setting the stage for a harmonious Christmas dinner.

Before Christmas dinner, everyone in the family must be on the same page. This unity and understanding can help prevent any potential conflicts from escalating.

Do yourself a huge favor and take your spouse/children to get some ice cream in a relaxing environment a few hours before your guests arrive. That way, you will have the opportunity to get some fresh air and talk a bit while you are chilling.

Doing so will allow you to take the tools discussed in the above paragraphs and present their benefits for your family members.

While they are having their ice cream, say something like:

"Listen, guys. As you probably know, we're hosting the holiday dinner at our house this year. It's important that despite our personal beef, which we are all aware of, we will try our best so that everything goes smoothly and nobody ends up dead.

So, John/Melissa (you name them), although we know your cousin Jamie isn't exactly your cup of tea, and you feel like punching him every time he opens his mouth, we ask for your understanding concerning our desire to get through holiday dinner with as little argument as possible. In the end, it's all about having some fun. And if you're not into it, a boarding school at the end of the world is always a possible option..." 

 

Talk to each other and you'll be on the same page

 

Remember, your efforts not only contribute to a more peaceful Christmas dinner but also strengthen your family bonding. It's a win-win situation that's worth striving for. 

 

On to the next one on our 'Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner' tip list.

 

 

5. Plan B.

 

There is a famous quote attributed to the great tennis player Serena Williams:

 

"If Plan A isn't working, I have Plan B, Plan C, and even Plan D."

 

We don't want to sound like party poppers, but you should know it's very likely that everything we wrote above (hereafter: "Plan A") will not go as planned (To say the least...).

Just as the late Murphy claimed:

'Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong.'

 

The best way to function properly when your plan doesn't work is simply using a pre-prepared alternative technique, Better known as 'Plan B.'

Literally, everything can go wrong and get out of control, contrary to what was planned - from the planning stage (you hoped for a particular thing and got something else) through the execution of the dinner itself ('Aunt Jean is lactose intolerant?! Dammit! I knew I forgot something!!!'), and up with one of your family members, who, despite your superb preparation, Due to too much alcohol and resentment built up over the years, is unable to control his emotions and snaps at someone else A second away from launching a bottle of wine at his head.

'How do I deal with that? ' You must be asking.

Well, As mentioned above, the best way involves preparing an alternative plan - "plan B."

 

Be prepared with a plan B!

 

'Easier said than done,' you might say, 'How the hell am I supposed to know in advance if Uncle Johnny is going to lash out at James?!'

Well, you're absolutely right. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for these dynamic family matters that can arise at your Christmas dinner table. But the key is to take control of the situation as much as possible. Identify potential issues, even the smallest ones, and prepare alternative courses of action. This proactive approach will empower you and give you a sense of control over the situation.

Doing so will reduce the chance of being surprised by unfortunate inconveniences since you have already prepared (for some) before their occurrence. For example, if Uncle Johnny starts a heated political debate, you could divert the conversation to a more neutral topic like holiday traditions.

This approach will undoubtedly help you keep your cool when hosting Christmas.

 

 

 

In conclusion, we are confident that this article- 'How To Keep Your Cool When Hosting Christmas? - Keeping Calm When Hosting Christmas Dinner' - and the tools presented within it will reassure you and help you maintain your sanity while hosting Christmas dinner at your home.

We understand that hosting Christmas Eve dinner is indeed a challenging task that sometimes requires using some 'creative' means. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

And if nothing works, an "accidental" power outage that forces everyone back to their homes is always a reasonable possibility. 

 

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